I don't want a Christian Grey.

So I jumped on the band wagon and bought 50 Shades of Grey after much talk amongst nearly every female I knew. People were saying it was the sauciest thing they had ever read and that they wanted their very own Christian Grey. I needed to read it - I love chick-lit and a saucy novel so this seemed to tick all the boxes. I haven't met many people with the same opinion as me on this book so I wanted to put mine out there in  need to see if ANYONE feels the same? 

I anticipated so much sauciness that I think I over anticipated to the point of being disappointed. Don't get me wrong the sex scenes are written in a way that make you enjoy them and somewhat overlook the appalling use of English. He has the room full of bondage gear but very little of it gets used - I think women across the land are talking about the filth on the back of this room existing but actually forgetting that there isn't all that much filth. The sex is hot but it is also nothing that is that wild, I think most people have experienced some form of domination in the bedroom just maybe not in a room full of whips and paddles. I think the hype over the sex part of this book is doing it no favours, I'm sure reading this not hearing women talking about it would have made it completely satisfactory.

I hate the assumption that this 'smart' grown woman with a degree can be so child like and pathetic. Yes she's never had sex or been in love but does that have to mean that she needs to be so awfully pathetic. I like Ana in parts I like some of her quick lines and the way she feels uncomfortable with him buying her gifts, I also like the way she won't tell him which companies she's interviewing for. I don't like how she just accepts the way he says 'you are mine' on every single page - never once turning around and saying 'I met you like a week ago I am not a possession.' I especially do not like how she calls her vagina 'her sex' - what is that? Who even calls it that? Any sex scene that contains her using the word 'my sex' is killed completely and just made me laugh or as the book went on a little annoyed.

As well as reading 'you are mine' on nearly every single page the book also makes you read how utterly beautiful Christian Grey is on Every. Single. Page. I mean really we get it he's probably a hybrid of Channing Tatum and Robert Pattinson and encapsulates God's first vision of man but do we really have to read about every time the bloody girl sets eyes on him. Or is it over suggested just so we believe that she will forget any negative thought about him purely because he is just that beautiful. That she will give up an argument or uncomfortable conversation just because he is that beautiful.

For me I was at first drawn into the masculinity of Christian Grey then I thought - what if he wasn't rich? I don't think he'd be all that sexy. What if he didn't buy her a car and fly her in his personal helicopter, what if he just did an every day job and picked her up in a van would she be this forgiving of all his faults and controlling nature. No - no she wouldn't. Would Christian Grey really be anything without his butler, plane, private dining rooms and chef? I'm not sure he would. I hate this idea but I think the character is a cliché of all the things we expect the perfect man to have - a business empire, unlimited funds, beautiful and he has something wrong, something to fix. Every girl wants to be the one to fix the guy, to change him and make him love her forever. However he stalks her, he is possessive, controlling, and really very troubled.

For me the saviour of this book is Taylor, with very few lines and just some well described looks and intentions I want to know more about Christian Grey's right hand man. What won't he do for him? What does he know? I think the memoirs of Taylor recounting the filth of Christian Grey would be far more readable and I feel Taylor also has an amazing story of his own life to tell. Also a story written by Taylor avoids us having to read how beautiful Christian Grey is on every single page.

It's maybe the fantasy some women are scared to talk about and doing it through Christian Grey kind of makes it acceptable. I've sat in rooms where women in their 20's, 30's, 40's, 50's and beyond are openly talking about how they want to be tied about and seduced by Christian Grey, some even talking about their own 50 shade sexual encounters. Often in far more graphic detail than I ever wanted my little ears to hear.

I think I couldn't put this book down because I wanted to understand why this had everyone talking.  I actually quite like the ending of this book - I hope Ana goes on to have a very successful career in publishing and meets a man open to spooning and loving her without any agenda or troubled past, a man who listens to her sexual needs and simply loves her. If I do read the other two books - which I probably will because I just want to see how it ends and hopefully learn more about Taylor I'll do a full post on the 50 shades trilogy - maybe my opinion will change.

I'd love to hear what people think of this book and if its worth reading the whole trilogy? I'd especially love to hear from you if you don't want a Christian Grey at all. I most definitely don't I want to feel a man chest and not have to persuade him to spoon me all night long. For me those things just need to be a given.